Formerly Religious People Are Sharing The Reasons Why They Left 

Their Faith, And It's So Eye-Opening                                                                         1

People Who Distanced Themselves From Religion After Being Raised 

In A Religious Household Are Sharing Their Emotional Stories                             9           

Is it a church or a cult…                                                                                             18

Former Christians Are Sharing The Turning Points That Made Them 

Leave The Faith, And They Had A Lot To Say                                                          19

"We Were Suffering": Ex-Cult Members Are Sharing The Moments 

They Realized Something Was Wrong                                                                     27

People Are Sharing The Final Straw That Turned Them Off From 

Organized Religion Forever, And It's Extremely Thought-Provoking                   31

The words of Pastor John Stephen Brown of Eternal Grace Baptist 

Church speaking on the shooting massacre at the Wedgewood Baptist 

Church in Fort Worth, Texas.                                                                                    40

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Formerly Religious People Are Sharing The Reasons Why They Left Their Faith, And It's So Eye-Opening

BuzzFeed Staff

Religion undoubtedly plays a significant role in many people's lives. For some, organized religion brings a sense of peace and purpose, but for others, it can create lifelong trauma and feelings of shame and inadequacy. Corrupt leaders, hate-filled teachings, and hypocrisy are just a few of the scenarios that can deeply impact a person's relationship with their faith...

So recently, I asked formerly devout people of the BuzzFeed Community to tell me about the turning point in their decision to leave their faith and received hundreds of responses. Here are some of their insightful stories:

1. "My youth pastor was actively advocating for the teens in his sermon to engage in actual violence against non-believers."

"He was talking about how TV and other distractions were taking people away from God, and he wheeled in a tub TV and bashed it to bits, shattering glass everywhere.

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He then instructed his believers to pick up their bats to destroy things that oppose God. He tried to make it sort of seem 'metaphorical,' but he was absolutely trying to spur a violent mob mentality. It was horrifying. Everyone around me was screaming violent threats against Muslims and other groups. I silently left. 

And that led me on my path to question my faith and eventually become an atheist."​

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2. "I grew up as a Southern Baptist and left my childhood church after realizing it was full of the town's rich people. Even the youth director was such a snob he wouldn't acknowledge the non-rich kids."

"I joined a small Baptist church in high school and loved it because there was no snobbery. I was quickly accepted even though I had no family there. Another fish out of water was a 10-year-old Black boy who also had no family there. He was also the only black person. I adopted him as a little brother, and we always hung out. Everything was great until one day, the Preacher told a racist joke during his sermon. (The punchline was 'a bad negro.') Everybody in the congregation laughed. 

I looked at my friend, who was shuddering, trying not to cry. I asked if he wanted to leave. He grabbed my hand, and we left. Neither of us ever went back, and I was officially done with that denomination. The pastor meant no harm, but the fact that everybody laughed did it for me."

3. "My mom’s family is very religious, like the kind where you can’t sing religious songs or pray with family who aren’t the same religion as you. We grew up very poor. I started working at age 12 to help pay for my school clothes and supplies."

"At age 16, I got a fast-food job and was promoted to supervisor a year or so later, which came with a raise. The pastor of the church told my mom that I was sinning because the Bible says that women are subservient to men, so I shouldn’t be telling men what to do at work. I asked him to show me where it says that in the Bible, and instead, he brought me before the church and tried to shame me publicly. That was the beginning of the end of my relationship with organized religion."​

4. "I’m a bisexual man married to a woman. We were both raised very devoutly Christian — my family was at the church every Sunday morning, night, and Wednesday, or else people would say we were backslidden."

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"I was in my 20s when I realized I was bi, but since I married a woman, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Still, I know that I can never tell my family I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community because of their harsh views on the subject. My wife loves and accepts me as I am, but it hurts deeply to know that I can never share my true self with them because I know for a fact that they would choose their religious beliefs over a relationship with me, even though I 'fit' into their 'normal' view of marriage. Their bigotry in the name of religion has made me turn from religion as a whole. If a belief promotes families to turn on their children because of an identity they can’t control, then I want no part in it."

5. "I don’t know if you could call me 'devoted.' My parents are atheists, but my grandparents are Anglican, and I used to go to church with them every single Sunday. I loved it, the singing, Sunday school, helping out at church events, and even Christmas recitals."

"But when I was 9 or 10, I wasn’t feeling well, so I decided to stay with my grandparents for the service instead of going to Sunday school - the Rev started talking about sin and 'bad' people, which turned into how this specific group of people were savages and how it’s in their blood to steal, take drugs and 'drink their life away' how it can be traced back to their ancestors. I was young, but figuring out he was talking about my people wasn't hard. I grew up in a very, very rich white community. I’m Polynesian (Māori and Tahitian). I remember looking up at my grandma, and she just squeezed my hand and told me how I knew it was not true. 

I couldn’t believe no one said anything. I thought church was all about love and acceptance until that day. I have never felt so alone and isolated. From then on, I listened to everything he said and how everything had disgusting undertones of pure anger and hate. I’ve never been to a church since."

6. "We were Southern Baptist. Our marriage was stressed due to careers and deployments. I called our pastor to request counseling, and he said, 'You can’t do that. Only your husband can request that.'"

"When my husband got home from work, he was furious with me for embarrassing him by telling the pastor our problems AND that I even called the pastor at all without his permission. Never mind the fact we were both officers in the military. We were divorced within a year, and I never set foot in a church again, nor will I join any religion. We spent every spare day and night volunteering with that church. It was refreshing to live in the real world again."

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7. "It was the summer between my 7th and 8th grade year, and I was in a vacation bible study at a pretty traditional Baptist church, the first year with the older teen kids. I made friends with a lovely Muslim girl at my school during the school year."

"She was the oldest of three or four siblings, the only girl. She loved soccer and music and making jokes. During VBS, I remember sitting on the stairs during an outside time, speaking to the teen's teacher, and asking him about a sermon from earlier in the week. I asked him, 'What about my Muslim friend? She's a sweet girl who takes care of her family. Does that mean she would go to hell because she doesn't believe in Jesus?'

Even at 13, I could tell this man did not want to tell me the answer that, technically, the hardcore Baptist Church we were a part of would require. Once I realized that Christianity was meant to be taken to heart as a black-and-white situation, I knew I couldn't continue trusting that institution with my heart."

8. "I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for 13 years. It was very important to me when I was younger — there were several years where I wanted to become a nun — but I started to grow disillusioned as I got older. There was one final nail in the coffin for me, though."

"I had gotten married when I was very young, and the relationship was not particularly healthy. After he cheated on me for the third time, we decided to separate. Quickly after that, I met someone else that I fell deeply in love with. After struggling with this for a few weeks, I sought counseling from my parish priest, who I had known since I was a child. Two sentences in, he stopped and told me I was 'disgusting' and 'an affront to God for having an affair' and in 'a permanent state of mortal sin for a temporary feeling.' I burst into tears and left the rectory. 

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Two weeks later, one of this guy's other local priest friends was arrested for molesting children, and the priest that had made me feel so shitty made a huge deal during his homily the following week about how we need to forgive these priests for their mistakes in 'the same way Jesus would forgive.' The hypocrisy was astonishing — I was an affront to God for meeting a man without getting my previous marriage annulled, but the priest who molested a dozen children over 30 years was deserving of forgiveness. I haven't been back to any church since, eschewing a second church wedding to elope with the man I had 'temporary feelings' for in a barn, witnessed by cows."

9. "I left my former faith when I was 21-22. I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and we had an issue of one of the church's magazines that proudly showed little pictures of all the kids who were 'martyred.'"

They all died because their parents withheld blood donations. I knew about the church's anti-blood stance, but I didn't realize how many people lost their lives because of it (the church always said that with blood substitutes and talented medical treatment, people usually didn't need actual blood transfusions.) That was the last straw. I had theological concerns that I'd been struggling with for some time but had just chalked it up to a lack of faith, but I finally realized that even if the JWs were right, I couldn't live the rest of eternity with people who thought this was okay, so I left."

10. "I was raised in a Presbyterian home. At a young age, I was molested, and when my parents found out, we moved to a new neighborhood, and they took me to counseling."

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"The counselor read me a book that talked about how God was angry with me for letting someone touch me in 'my special places' that wasn't my husband. I got victim-shamed at seven years old. After that, I attended church out of obligation to my family. As soon as I moved out at 18, I didn't set foot in a church again unless it was for a wedding or funeral."

11. "As a teen in a Bible study class at our family’s new church, the youth group leader was talking about how anyone who had not accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior would go to hell upon their death."

"Another student asked for clarification on babies (like those stillborn or in other countries who had never even heard of Jesus), and the youth leader ranted for a while and was adamant that they would go straight to hell, too. I decided right then that I couldn’t support such a cruel god, and even though it was a few years before I quit going to church entirely, that was the moment that ruined religion for me. Unborn babies going straight to hell for the 'crime' of not living long enough to be able to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior."

12. "I spent my childhood with (evangelical) church being a huge part of my life because my mom had spent her entire life as extremely devout. I started emotionally separating a bit in high school before coming back to it in college and early adulthood. I even explored the idea of becoming a missionary and dedicating my life to it."

"However, I always believed in a firm separation of church and state and the right for anyone to choose if and how they worship, and I've always been pro-LGBTQ. In 2008, there was a ballot measure to outlaw same-sex marriage in California. One Sunday, I attended the church where I had spent most of my life and saw piles of hundreds of signs supporting the ballot measure in their lobby. I noped right out of there and didn't set foot in that church again until my parents' deaths in 2020 and 2021 because they wanted their funeral services there. 

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After their deaths, I was able to do a deep dive into my own mental health and start to fully explore and repair the damage the evangelical church had caused, including heavy reliance on keeping secrets because you would be judged and ostracized, which left a lot of room for all kinds of abuse to occur. I don't believe in dwelling on regrets, but if there was one thing in my life I could change, it would be the influence the evangelical church had on so much of my life. Looking back, nothing good came from it, just a lot of destruction."

13. "My husband and I had tried for years to have a baby. A famous religious family with too many children had a TV show at the time in which they proclaimed they would take as many children as God would give them. Why give that family so many children but yet not give any to others?"

"It made me walk away from religion completely. We eventually had two children, but I cringe every time I hear someone say children are a gift from God. It is so insulting for people struggling with infertility that do not receive the gift."

14. "My roommate and I grew up in the same church, so I assumed we had the same experience. While we were in college, she told me that her dad was abusive, cheated on and left her mom, and gave her an STI as a result of the cheating."

"When her mom reached out to the church for help as she was struggling to raise three young children on her own, the church leaders blamed her and said the only way forward was to forgive him and plead to take him back. I had NO idea this type of abuse was going on behind the scenes. She told me that's why she and her entire family left the church. It opened my eyes to the disgusting hypocrisy and misogyny of the faith, and I could never go back. "

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15. "I grew up in a very religious family. I didn’t know till my 30s that it was considered evangelical, but that would explain some of the teachings when it came to women. I remember the exact moment I was done with the church."

"We were standing in line to speak with the pastor on Easter. We were all wearing fancy Easter clothes, and I asked the Pastor why I had to wear a hat, and my brother did not. He informed me that, as a woman, I wasn’t worthy of receiving God's blessing directly. It would have to go through the head man in the family. I then asked what would happen if my father wasn’t there to give me God's blessings. He said it would then be my brother's responsibility. I looked over at my little brother, who stuck his tongue out at me and said, 'Yeah, I’m the man.' I realized that there was no way in hell I was ever going to receive God's blessing, and this was a giant crock of shit for women. I'm out!"

16. "I was a devout Christian until I saw evangelicals and other conservative Christians start talking about Donald Trump like he is a 'savior.' Trump is one of the most unethical, ungodly, and narcissistic politicians who have ever lived."

"He is a felon who was found liable for sexual abuse and is on trial for other serious crimes, but many Christians still support him, and some almost worship him. Trump has stated that he does not ask God for forgiveness because he doesn’t make many mistakes (LOL). The Trump phenomenon led me to question whether Christianity is what I always thought. It turns out that my questioning resulted in a falling away from the Christian faith."​

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People Who Distanced Themselves From Religion After Being Raised In A Religious Household Are Sharing Their Emotional Stories

"While I wholeheartedly believe it's beautiful when individuals find solace in their faith, I witnessed a lot of harmful extremes in organized religion, including misogyny, racism, and xenophobia."

Posted on September 22, 2024, at 12:16 p.m. ET

Hannah Dobrogosz, BuzzFeed Staff

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community who grew up in ultra-religious households and later distanced themselves from faith to tell us what motivated them to do so. We received some incredibly emotional, upsetting, and truly brave responses. Please note: These submissions don't reflect a universal experience of religion. Everyone's story is different. Here's what people shared:

1.  "My parents worked outside the home, so I spent most of my childhood in my grandmother's care. She was very religious. My beliefs aligned with hers until I became a teenager and started asking more questions. I learned that I was pansexual in my 20s and went through a faith deconstruction during the COVID-19 pandemic. She got angry and couldn't understand why I had changed and then insinuated that my son was autistic and going to hell because I angered God. I didn't care what she said about me, but I could never get over what she said about my son."

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2. "I was raised in a very strict Catholic household. I went to Catholic school and was very active in my parish. My parents were active in the church — eucharistic ministers, members of the choir, and did readings at mass. It was the center of our world. After college, I was married in the church. My husband and I tried for years to start a family. When we finally got pregnant, we lost our baby at 12 weeks. It was beyond devastating. We turned to the church for comfort and guidance in our grief. Sadly, we were told that since our baby was not baptized, they would spend eternity in purgatory. We were also told that our loss was 'part of the Lord's plan.' Neither sentiment was comforting to either of us."

"After physically recovering from the loss, we kept trying for our rainbow baby. After another two years, we realized this wasn't going to happen for us the 'old-fashioned way' and sought help from a fertility specialist. Our breaking point was the church not supporting IVF. We walked away and were constantly guilted by our families. As a result, we have cut most of our families out of our lives. To end positively, we are currently expecting our rainbow baby!"

3. "My preacher couldn't help me when I was seeking guidance after being sexually assaulted. I was blamed and turned away when I needed support. That, in addition to seeing the greed of mega-churches and how churches cover for preachers who abused their power, was what did it for me."

4. "My biological mother ruined her marriage with my dad because she had an affair with a woman. This convinced her that homosexuality was an ultimate sin, and she ended up ruthlessly hateful towards the LGBTQ+ community. When she found out I was bi, she told me how disappointed she was and that she could help me; there were places she would pay to send me to repent. Unfortunately, it was a long time before I finally cut her off. Everything I've heard about her since, like how she was convinced that Democrats were the antichrist's army, that the end times were coming, and that COVID vaccines were the sign of the beast, have all proven to me that cutting her off was the best decision."

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5. "I was indoctrinated in a fundamentalist Baptist church setting with a family that was heavily involved in leadership roles within the church. We went to church three times a week minimum, often more. My parents were very concerned about appearances both in and out of church and had no regard for mental health, even when my brother attempted suicide. I have vivid memories of the youth pastor announcing my brother's suicide attempt to the youth group of 60+ kids and language revolving around how prayer was needed. I still recall how shameful it felt to be looked at like our family had failed the church. I tried explaining to a therapist once how intensive moral absolutes in my formative years made my anxiety and OCD symptoms worse, and she looked blankly at me and said, 'Most people who go to church are nice.'"

"While I wholeheartedly believe it's beautiful when individuals find solace in their faith, I witnessed a lot of harmful extremes in organized religion, including misogyny, racism, and xenophobia. I'm still close with my parents but haven't gone to church since I was 17 (I'm 32 now), and I know my parents are sad I don't share their views. I had to grieve many friendships and relationships with extended family members who I simply can't relate to or respect because of their actively oppressive viewpoints. I'm now a therapist and am grateful I get to help clients work through their own religious trauma and form new identities with spirituality beyond organized religion."

6. "I grew up in the '80s amidst the backdrop of televangelism and conspiracy theories. My mother was 'saved' when I was 8. In the following years, I tagged along to prayer groups and church to remain relevant as my mother became increasingly withdrawn from the family. But within a year or two, I realized (precocious me!) that religion was definitely not my jam. As soon as I began to pull away from it, my mother began forcefully trying to haul me back. Forced daily prayers, anointing with 'holy oil,' and other rituals drove the wedge in deeper, and by 11, I was suicidal because my mother promised me that I'd burn in hell for not believing as she did."

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"As I progressed through my teen years, she hung crucifixes in my closet and snuck into my bedroom at night to pray over me. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, listen to music, see movies, or go anywhere without her. She beat me several times, chanting that her deity was going to 'bind and cast Satan out of me' or screaming that she was doing her deity's work because not beating me was to 'spare the rod and spoil the child.' One of her beatings left me with bruises three inches wide and a foot long as she whipped me with my father's leather belt. Bear in mind: I was a good kid. I'd never been in any trouble, got decent grades, and even worked a part-time job. After I finally got out, she continued to make efforts to humiliate me. She died alone and miserable, crying and whining. And I celebrated with no regrets."

7. "My mother was super religious in a cult and swore she was one of the only 144,000 people going to rule in heaven. She forced religion on us as she raised us, including the Ten Commandments. I reached adulthood, started my own business with her as a silent partner, and caught her stealing from a client and the company. When I confronted her about it, she claimed it was 'us against the world' and it wasn't wrong to do so. She threatened to take my kids away (and she eventually followed through). I reported her to the elders, but they said because I didn't have three witnesses to her stealing (paperwork didn't count), I was being disassociated. I left, and to this day, my children believe the lies she told about me, and I haven't seen/spoken to them in decades."

8. "My dad's side of the family is extremely Catholic, and growing up, we already felt alienated by them because we weren't Catholic and went to the Methodist church (which my grandma, the matriarch of the family, went to as well, so I don't get why it was such a big deal). Even beyond that, they treated us like crap. As an adult, my parents finally confessed my sister and I were IVF babies and were conceived with a sperm donor, and it felt like I finally got it. I realized as a teenager I was bisexual, and now, as an adult, I'm basically a Republican's worst nightmare: a bisexual, gender-nonconforming, autistic witch. Since they are voting for Trump (and even attended the rally where he was shot), I realized they don't care that I'm family. They will gladly do whatever to stamp out my existence for their own religious bigotry."

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"I might see them at a family member's funeral, but I honestly feel nothing over cutting them out. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? They don't invite me to holiday gatherings? They don't even do that now. They've never invited me to Thanksgiving or Easter as an adult. I'm unsure if it's out of laziness or intentional. But I'm done being treated like crap because I don't fit into their religious ideology."

9. "The fact that I had to accept what I was told without any questions bothered me. With the marriage of faith and fundamentalism that started in the '70s, I knew something had to be wrong. Maybe everything they taught me was wrong. I had questions, and I wanted my answers. They still had none. I finally gave up when they aligned with a politician I felt did not represent my values. I felt Jesus supported my decision."

10. "My father died when I was 7 at Christmas when my mother was nine months pregnant with my youngest sister. My mother went into labor after the funeral, and while she was in the hospital, she was 'visited' by members of the local Church of Christ. Until that point, she had been a non-practicing Catholic. We began attending church three times a week, and the sermons usually followed the same theme: burning in hell. We were taught to believe that my father was in hell because he hadn't been born again before he passed. Also, it was pre-arranged that my sisters and I would go to a Christian orphanage if anything happened to my mom. I was informed of this decision because I was the oldest child. I had just turned 8."

"There's a passage in the Bible that says, 'The Lord will return like a thief in the night.' I took this literally and started believing that God was going to take my mom at night when everyone else was asleep, so I stopped sleeping because I thought that if I didn't sleep, the Lord couldn't take my mom. This happened for a few years, with me sleeping in bits and pieces. I had to get up several times during the night to make sure my mom was still breathing. No one seemed to notice that anything was wrong with me. My mother worked full-time and was with my younger sisters during any free time. 

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I wasn't allowed to participate in most school activities because they were considered sinful. At 14, I started sneaking out of the house, drinking, and doing drugs to try and deal with the trauma of being constantly told that I was a sinner. By the time I was 17, I was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user. I quit going to church, and eventually, so did my mom, but the damage was done. It's been 40 years since I quit going to church, and I've never recovered from the trauma. Both of my sisters became abusive alcoholics and drug addicts who took their trauma out on their children. I have struggled mentally for years, off and on anti-depressants and constantly battling suicidal feelings. I feel worthless and unlovable. Despite all this, I tried to believe in God but finally gave up."

11. "I didn't so much leave a religious family, but I've alienated myself from a bunch of relatives and in-laws as an adult. My heathen crimes: pointing out the hypocrisy of their actions vs. what is actually Christianity, quoting Jesus's words from their own scripture to support my points, pointing out that those firm 'moral convictions' they throw at everyone are actually fear and wickedness, not faith and love, and my favorite, reminding them that Jesus warned his followers about people (like them) who are easily influenced by appearances while they judge others."

12. "It was abusive, neglectful, and controlling. I was told I would be either institutionalized or shot if I ever mentioned being queer again after coming out to my mother at 14. She would constantly tell me I had the devil in me and claim my grandmother with bipolar disorder was evil and also had the devil in her. I was taught that people of color were a different species and white people were superior. Bible stories were used to justify hate, supremacy, racism, misogyny, and even spousal rape. The church was horrible to the low-income families that showed up, as well as anyone of a different color, and they would eventually be run off. We were taught by the church that the government 'of man' was not superior to God and that we were preparing for a bloody war against those possessed by the devil. Friends, family, and loved ones would be on opposite sides, and we would have to kill them to 'save' them. It was bananas."

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"I was not allowed to socialize outside of school or church. My parents were employed in the school system, so I never had a second of freedom. I was bullied endlessly at school for being weird. I regularly thought about suicide or harming others (bullies, mean teachers, coaches). I won't even get into how weird the church and my parents were about sex. They wanted me to have babies and never saved a dime for me to go to college despite my being at the top of my class. They allowed my boyfriend to sexually assault me in the family living room despite my pleas to please make him go home. Getting pregnant meant I'd have to stay home, and they wanted that. When I broke off the relationship, they blamed me. My mother sabotaged my college FASFA and made sure I didn't get into the college of my dreams. A counselor at school helped me with in-state when they realized what was happening, and I got several in-state scholarships. 

I managed to escape, and a dorm mother stepped up to help when she realized what was happening. My parents had thrown all my paperwork away and didn't have me listed for move-in. The dorm mom found me a spot and helped me enroll that night. She saved my life. Even then, my parents would show up and demand I return home each weekend. They would drive an hour and a half to pick me up and force me to have a job every spare second of the weekend. They also forced me to call them every night at 10:00 p.m., or they called the cops. 

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They still blame college for me being 'liberal.' At 21, I had a nervous breakdown and realized I was queer. I had suppressed it due to fear. Then, I started separating myself from my parents. I paid for college myself, made friends, found the love of my life, and left religion and them behind forever. I can breathe, I am happy, and I feel loved. While it is sad that they have chosen hate and God instead of me, I never regret leaving. Therapy is an ongoing help. You can escape. Religion is a tool to repress, control, and harm. You can be spiritual, find faith, or just do your own thing. You don't need a community of people who harm you, judge you, and try to control you. You can find one that loves and accepts you as you are."

13. "My sister and her husband became hyper-religious after we (four kids) became adults. Among other things, they shunned my ex-sister-in-law when she came out as gay. They had known and loved my SIL for over 25 years. She didn't change, they did. I also heard my sister say she didn't want anyone sleeping in her bed (as visitors) who hadn't been vaxxed, yet she and her husband refused to be vaxxed, and, yes, they had COVID. They are Trump lovers, they are hypocritical, and they are so non-Christian. There is no milk of human kindness in them. I'm done with my sister!"

14. And: "I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church and attended Baptist college as a commuter my first year. As girls, we were required to wear skirts or dresses. On a day I didn't have class, I stopped by to pick up something I needed. I had on jeans, a white collared shirt, and penny loafers. A woman I didn't know saw me in the hall and started screaming, 'How dare you come here in beach attire!' I explained that I wasn't attending class, but right then and there, I'd had enough. I married a boy I met there, and we finished college elsewhere and never went back to church. We've been married for 55 years, have led moral, upright lives, and never regretted our decisions."

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Added from other BUZZFEED articles:

1. "I didn't start saving for retirement until I was 40 because I grew up in a religious cult that taught me I didn't need to save anything because Jesus would come back by the time I was 30."

"Around 40, I finally began learning how to 'adult' independently. By the time I understood what a retirement account was, I was interested, but I had made too many financial mistakes to start saving money. 

I began dealing with health issues, and my spouse was going through addiction, so there were a lot of aspects of life that kept me from making the right decisions for myself."

This isn’t leaving the church but…

2. "I grew up very conservative. Periods weren't to be mentioned. Pregnancy was only spoken about in the most vague and glowing of terms. There were different rules for men and women. I wasn't allowed to watch movies with nudity until I was 18. My brother got taken to one when he was 13. Now? I unashamedly talk about sex, periods, and all the other 'issues' women have been conditioned into thinking should never be voiced."

3. "Not far into his career practicing medicine, my dad had a shifty-looking patient in the waiting room who refused to give his real name and demanded that the front desk use a pseudonym. After a quick exam, my dad gave him a gonorrhea diagnosis. Instead of asking about the infection, prognosis, or treatment, the patient began to threaten my dad, promising consequences if anybody found out. Not expecting the confusion on my dad’s face, he followed up with, 'Don’t you know who I am?!' My dad just shook his head, and the patient left briskly. Once the door closed, my dad’s staff let him know that the man was a TV megachurch pastor."

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Is it a church or a cult…

1.  "Watching my grandma, who is the matriarch of my extended family and our family's glue, struggle to pay tithes AND offerings every week, regardless of how much of a difference it would have made to her vs. our rather large church. My grandma paid for her meds in change on a Monday while I watched our preacher get into a brand new, black and chrome Yukon Denali the Sunday prior. It didn't make sense."

2. "When I was told that proceeding in a ceremony and receiving a gift that was a religious rite of passage to adulthood would require me to take upon myself certain sacred obligations, and I could not know them beforehand. I could either leave them in front of my family or essentially sign a blank check to swear any oath required of me later on."

3. "When I was told I couldn’t ask questions. I was 14. All that did was make me ask more questions. I ended up at the public library reading up about cults. (This was in the 90s)."

4. "When they stopped allowing children who had gay parents to be baptized." 

5. "One of the leaders said that we shouldn’t watch any TV or read any material that wasn’t published by the church. I said, 'Well, I just like 'Road and Track' magazine, I don’t think that’s anti-religious. He replied, 'That material will cause you to lust after material things, and you shouldn’t read that.' It was at that point that I knew I had to get the hell out of there."

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Buzzfeed

Former Christians Are Sharing The Turning Points That Made Them Leave The Faith, And They Had A Lot To Say

By Ajani Bazile-Dutes    Posted on December 18, 2024, at 2:21 p.m. ET

1. "My friend was very, very religious and went to the pastor for guidance, and he put no blame on the cheating husband at all. He guilted her into staying in the marriage and acted as if prayer would fix everything! I was disgusted."

2. "There were a lot of reasons I left the church. The pastor had an affair, and it was conveniently swept under the rug because heaven forbid people actually acknowledge the issue. And there was the time the youth pastor told me (a then-preteen) that I needed to put on a bra because I was distracting. And also when members of the church in charge of hiring a new pastor utilized both sexist and racist practices and kept women and minorities from being hired."

3. "I am a female only child of a divorced mother. My parents had been divorced since I was 5 because my father cheated on my mother. Around the time I was 15, our pastor was replaced because he had been convicted of sexually abusing his foster daughter. I was still heavily involved in the church's choir, youth group, orchestra, and more. The new pastor gave a sermon about how kids just couldn't 'turn out right' without a father in the house. He said the kid would become a 'criminal, a drug addict, a sex worker, or somehow a less-than-good member of society.' We didn't walk out that day. But we didn't go back, either."

4. "My mom's Polish, so my brothers and I are Catholic, and she and her whole side of our family have always exemplified the purest and most loving form of Christianity. I went to church all my life until my mid-20s, listening to BS I didn't quite always agree with, but just sort of tuned out the iffy parts of sermons. I got a job with a Catholic organization working under a very difficult priest, who believed that we should be working full time for free because we were doing God's work. He would always berate us for not working hard enough or putting in more hours. He said we should be glad to be 'filled with the light of God instead of being materialistic' (which was expecting a living wage)."

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5. "I was raised Catholic and was taught that God would intervene if you prayed to him. My friend was having a difficult pregnancy, and I prayed every day that it would turn out OK, but she miscarried. When I spoke to my priest, he said that God had chosen to terminate the pregnancy because my friend wasn’t married and wasn’t a Catholic. That was six years ago, and I never returned to the church after that."

6. "First, I never wanted to go to church, it was something my mom made us do. Second, homophobia. The last time I went to a church it was a lovely and inspirational sermon until the pastor started disparaging gays for absolutely no reason. Even at my grandfather's funeral, the pastor there managed to blame gays for the state of the world. Just random unnecessary hate."

7. "I have lots of reasons for not participating in organized religion, especially Christianity. One of my main turning points was when a coworker, who I was also friends with, was having marital issues. It’s a small town, and her husband was a piece of shit who everyone knew. He couldn’t keep his junk in his pants and had several babies outside his marriage, and one of his baby mothers would even go to my friend's home and bang on the door threatening to beat her up. My friend was very, very religious and went to the pastor for guidance, and he put no blame on the husband at all. He guilted her into staying in the marriage and acted as if prayer would fix everything! I was disgusted."

8. "When I was younger, the pastor at the family church was allegedly involved in a scandal with a child and no one would do anything because he was a 'man of God.' I was instantly turned off of organized religion after finding out. That was the catalyst and the more I grew up and did some soul-searching, the more I realized I could not believe in a God that would protect a monster over a child (amongst other things as well)."

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9. "I used to go to a Protestant church in high school, and one time, a guy who was in his 40s came up to me on a church dinner cruise and started talking about how Hurricane Katrina was New Orleans's punishment for the gay rights movement and that bad things happen in places where the gay rights movement is popular. He then proceeded to ask me out and wanted to buy me a drink even after I told him I was 16. Also, we had a pastor who was very against gay marriage and put a sign up on the church with 'the church's stance.'"

10. "The amount of gossiping that went on in my church was astounding to me, even as a child. I always felt I had to be perfect or else I would give everyone else even more to talk crap about. The irony of the 'judge not lest ye be judged' Christians being the judgiest people I ever met was lost on them, but it made me really evaluate if I actually believed or if it was just putting on a show so I could fit in. I found out it was the latter."

11. "My mother was raised in the Catholic Church, but her breaking point was when they demanded 10% of her monthly income in order to attend. My mom basically told them to fuck off and NEVER looked back."

12. "I was 9 years old and finally able to join my church's Scout group. In one meeting, they gathered us all and asked everyone individually if they were a good person. Most children said yes. Once they’d asked everyone, they told us that we were all wrong and that the only good person was Jesus. I was only 9 years old, but even I thought that was bullshit and a pretty cruel exercise to do with children. I left the church at 13 and have been an atheist ever since."

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13. "I was raised Catholic but as I got older, I questioned the church and its teachings more and more. A lot of it started to not make sense. When I discovered that I was nonbinary and pansexual, the church responded by forcing conversion therapy on me rather than accepting me. A God that supposedly loves everyone is not going to force that sort of hell on anyone."

14. "I left after being judged in youth group for my clothes (tighter shirts and ripped jeans) and being called out in front of the group. Jesus doesn't give a fuck what I'm wearing, and now you've made me more important than Jesus LOL. I hate the hypocrisy."

15. "I am a 60-year-old heterosexual African male and was increasingly bothered by the comments and jokes about gay people from the pulpit. I was a devoted and tithing member of a non-denomination mega church. My childhood years were spent every Sunday in a southern Baptist church. But I began to feel more and more uncomfortable with rhetoric that was justifying why gay lifestyles were 'unacceptable.' In short, I asked myself is this what Jesus would say or do with anyone or any group? My answer was no. This caused me to have enough doubt to question a number of teachings and stories in the bible that I was now able to look at with open eyes."

"I began to research the origins of religion and came to understand it is all about a belief, not facts. I then asked a basic question is there any area in my life where I operate on belief and not fact? With that in mind, I had to get honest and admit, I have no concrete data or facts that clearly show me there is a God. The idea of attributing what we don't understand to a God is no longer acceptable to me."

16. "I had fallen out of the Christian faith before, but then 9/11 happened and I thought I needed to reconnect. I saw The 700 Club blaming the sin of America and Vegas and thought it was crap. I went to a Calvary Chapel service down in Fort Lauderdale the Sunday after. The sermon was almost verbatim from The 700 Club. They were blaming people in Vegas for the loss of lives of thousands. No thank you. I realized religion was a hoax. The pastor of that church was later brought up on charges of money laundering and child pornography."

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17. "I grew up in church with pastors on both sides of my family. It's overwhelming as a child to be told all the things you can't do because it's a sin and you'll go to hell. Don't get me started on the teachings about relationships and sex. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 17 and once I turned 17, I was suddenly supposed to be okay with openly dating without feeling conviction. Religion played a huge part in me not dating or having significant relationships until my mid-20s and even then it still felt wrong."

"Additionally, end-time prophesy teachings (the rapture) were genuinely traumatizing. I was under constant fear that the rapture would happen and I would be left behind for some unknown sin I committed. I now have a child of my own and I REFUSE to put any sort of religious teachings in her head and I've told my parents that I will decide what's appropriate for her until she's old enough to make her own decision about religion."

18. "At a very young age, I was forced to attend church. It felt like a cult. I was cognizant of the so-called church body I convened with. All I did was look and listen. Attending church continued until I was in my early teenage years. After all that I have experienced and been through I made a conscious decision that I did NOT want to be in the same place with any of those people which I will never do."

19. "I was always a very open-minded kid growing up (my mom always encouraged me to think for myself), so I was never a hardcore Catholic or Christian like most of my family. We also never went to a hardcore Catholic church, either. I never cared for church much and always thought religion should be something personal, but what made me never want to go back was when my church wanted everyone to sign a petition against same-sex marriage after the sermon. I think I was the only one who just stood there without signing. I watched as the whole congregation signed. It made me angry and sad. They also had a sermon about abortion one day that was downright offensive. After those two events, I just couldn’t go back."

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20. "I didn’t grow up in church or a religious household, I was just told God exists, sin exists, and went to a few summer bible schools. As an adult, I wanted to grow my faith. The more I started reading, researching, and contemplating, I called bullcrap. It took about three years of combing through Christianity, Black Hebrew Israelites, and belief in God with no attached religious text before I settled on atheism. Honestly, I never felt more at peace or free."

21. "My parents were raised Catholic, and so was I for the first 12-ish years of my life. I never bought into the rhetoric — not sure I ever even really believed in God — and I used to bring books to read at church. So I wasn't heartbroken when we left the church at the time because my parents said they just needed a change. I didn't find out until a couple of years later that it was actually because of me. I'm adopted, and my parents and younger sister are white. Apparently, many of our congregation had trouble wrapping their heads around that idea. They would be preaching love and acceptance of everyone on Sunday, and on Monday they would ask my mom why she adopted a brown kid when she could have a white one on her own. My parents (obviously) got tired of the hypocrisy and abuse and swore off institutionalized religion."

22. "As I got older, a lot of things in the bible just didn't add up (no mention of dinosaurs, no one could give an exact timeline of the events in the bible, the fact that the whole origins of the bible itself are a matter of debate). Not to mention that Christianity was used to keep slaves in check. I definitely have been persecuted for my stance, but I will never go back to any religion."

23. "I told a counselor at my Christian college that I was deeply depressed and suicidal. Her advice boiled down to 'pray more, and trust in God.' I told her I’d been trying that and it wasn’t working. She told me that if I had really been trying, it would be working, so the problem was my lack of faith. This was, suffice it to say, not helpful in dealing with my depression."

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24. "I did research on the history of the church and became very knowledgeable on all its past. Once I understood the roots of the faith, it became impossible for me to logically subscribe to it."

25. "I grew up in a Baptist church in a religious extended family. My belief in some higher power diminished because of multiple reasons. Multiple friends of mine died in the same year and I just can't fathom how a higher power allows so much grief and hurt (at a personal level as well as across all of society). Mass shootings, violence, homelessness, assault, and so many heinous acts get explained away by free will, but why let people suffer if an all-powerful being could make it better? Modern Christianity is so far from the teaching of the bible. Looking at the mega-churches and the pastor and their lavish lifestyles, they're businesses."

26. "I was raised in the church and the older I get, the more it seems to me how religion is used just to control the less fortunate."

27. And finally, "I would say that actually reading the bible for myself without someone else's interpretation led me out of Christianity. Once I read it fully, I saw how humans created a God in their image depending on their circumstances and state of mind. While Christians will believe their God is going to save us from ourselves, the work of being better stewards of the Earth and each other falls on us. We must evolve into better humans."

Additional statements:

1. "When my mom had cancer, her best friend's husband (a pastor) kept coming over to pray with her. He kept telling her that her faith would save her, and all she had to do was believe. When it became obvious she was getting worse, not better, he started berating her and blaming her for not loving Christ enough. She died fucking terrified she was going to hell. F… religion."

2. "When I was about 15 and still going to my parents' evangelical church, my peers at youth group came to know of my extensive CSA history. Two girls were blindingly jealous. They told me they wished they had such a beautiful testimony to share when they got baptised, that Jesus had made it all better and now I got to get attention for having such a dramatic past and they didn't."

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"I don't really blame them; baptism was the only real time teenage girls had a voice at church. You got a minute on the mic before you got dunked, and if you're raised like that, it's the most romantic, dramatic moment of your life. But wow, did it hurt to hear at that point."

3. "'Well, you wouldn't be depressed if you were a better Christian and trusted God more.' I was 12, by the way. Also, no longer religious."

4. "Two miscarriages in three months. 'At least they weren't real babies yet.' Said to me by some staunch pro-lifers."

5.  "I was raised in a conservative, Christian home. We were taught, from the youngest we could comprehend, that if you did not become a Christian, you would go to hell and burn for all of eternity. My children are being taught to trust themselves, their gut, their heart, and to educate themselves and learn as much as they can before choosing to follow any one way in life."

6. "I was raised in a very strict manner by religious parents in an extremely legalistic Southern Baptist church. I was extremely sheltered, allowed only one movie (maybe) and one hour of TV a week, ONLY Christian movies, books, TV shows, radio, etc. I never interacted with kids outside of the church bubble, as my parents started a Christian school so that I wouldn't have to go to the 'evil public school and be brainwashed.' For me, it was when my pastor and my youth pastor took me aside during a church camp and said they were worried about my salvation, as I hadn't led anyone in the sinners' prayer and didn't go on 'visitation,' which was door-knocking on Sunday afternoons to talk about Jesus. Instead, I played harp as part of the instrumental group every Sunday and Wednesday and sang in the choir when I wasn't playing, which I practiced during the same time as visitation."

"They basically told me that since I showed most of the other fruits of the spirit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc., they thought I was a Christian. But since I 'openly boycotted' visitation, I couldn't possibly be a full Christian, and they wanted me to work on that. I was 15! I never interacted with non-Christians and was part of the instrumental group and choir, which practiced during visitation! How could I do that if everyone I knew was already Christian?? 🤔 It led to some serious questions, but I couldn't really do anything until I escaped to college three years later."

7. "When my youth group leader said that telling poor people about Jesus was more important than feeding them or housing them."

8. "'Love your neighbor as yourself.' For someone, like me, with low self-esteem, this is terrible advice."  What if you have low self esteem?

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BUZZFEED 

"We Were Suffering": Ex-Cult Members Are Sharing The Moments They Realized Something Was Wrong

Lauren Garafano. Posted on November 9, 2025, at 6:16 a.m. ET

1. "I was raised in a Catholic family with nine children. My mother scratched around to make ends meet every week. I believe my father made $100 a week. She would pay her tithes to the church every week. At the end of the year, a report was made available for public viewing, listing the amount each family donated in descending order. Such a humiliating thing to do. Left the church at 18 and never turned back. This stuck with me."

2. "I was engaged to the youth pastor. A few weeks before the wedding, I found out that he had fathered a child with a 'friend' while we were together, and I called off the wedding. All of my 'friends' from the church told me I was wrong for ending the relationship, how I should have forgiven the infidelity, and helped raise the child. Meanwhile, my 'heathen' friends and family helped me pick up the pieces. A few months later, I was in the ER with a ruptured cyst, and one of the church elders was there and completely ignored me. Turned out the optics of my forgiveness were better than the optics of an unwed youth pastor with a child out of wedlock."

3. "I stopped believing in religion when they told me it was a sin to be gay. My dad is gay, and they told me that he won't be accepted into heaven by God because of who he loves, which made me stop believing in the Bible."

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4. "My dad, at the age of 25, joined a church that turned into a controlling cult demanding all of our money, time, and energy. They eventually slowly excommunicated us when my dad was tragically sick with Hepatitis C. He went on chemo for almost two years and lost his mind. We stopped attending church for a while, and they stopped talking to us. We realized it was because we weren’t tithing. He almost died, we went bankrupt, lost our home, and they did not care one bit. It took years to heal and get away from the shame they put on us that it was our fault for not tithing and attending church, that we were suffering."

5. "First, they continuously told stories of people who didn’t follow what they were told and how they had accidents or died. If you had any friends who were not a part of this group (church no longer describes them for me), you were told to bring them, and when the service was almost over, they expected them to join. The doors were closed, and they continued to pray in an effort to pressure them. Lastly, an elder approached to tell me I wasn’t as connected/committed to the group. I was confused and said I’m here on Sundays, Wednesdays, and many Friday nights and Saturdays. I was supposed to spend every evening with them if I wasn’t working. After that, I left and spent time reading my bible alone."

6. "I started to doubt all the teachings when one wife's vision was told that rape was 'God's love.' You had to agree, because saying no was frowned upon. I said no constantly and was asked to leave due to disobedience to God. I moved to another country with an older woman and a group of young people. We tithed regularly with our meager income but had no insurance. Anything with the banks and government was forbidden. I got sick with appendicitis and was told to trust God. The older woman put me in a taxi and drove to the hospital. I tried to make sense of it all, but the end came when my husband and I were told we needed to open our bed to others for the sake of unity. We were out of there in a few months."

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7. "I was a part of a 'house church' (fancy name for a cult) for 17 years. It was led by none other than my dad, and I blindly followed because I trusted and loved my dad. I loved God, and I wanted to live an honest, godly life. My dad taught me all I needed to know about God. He said he was a prophet too, and had all the knowledge and wisdom of God. He was controlling and manipulative, and the definition of a narcissist. It wasn’t until my husband led me to podcasts and YouTube videos of people who left cults and described cults that I knew I was living in one. I got married and had three kids while living in my parents' cult, and leaving with my family was the hardest but most freeing thing I have ever done. It’s been six months since we left, and I will never go back and probably never talk to my dad again. God is still alive, and I hope to find him again soon."

8. "I knew the church I was raised in was a cult when I went on a mission trip to Buffalo, NY, with some other pre-teens and teens. There was a day when we came back, and one of the kids was acting strangely, clearly seeking attention. Of course, the leaders said he must be possessed. He heard that and immediately started acting out some Exorcist -type things, crawling around and thrashing on the ground. The leaders freaked out, told us kids to hold hands and form a circle around him, and pray as hard as we could, but keep our eyes closed. I opened my eyes to look around, and one of them screamed at me, told me I’d be possessed, next. Of course, the kid was fine; he had tired himself out and started bragging about how he managed to do all that, which got him the attention he needed. We knew it was fake, but the fanatics absolutely loved that 'experience and testament of Jesus' for a while, when we came back."

"On the other hand, since I had the audacity to look around, I was approached by those same leaders to repent, and they told my mom to watch out for demon activity in me. It didn’t help that I was also very young and out as bisexual, which ended up with my mom attempting to send me to a conversion camp, which wasn’t illegal at the time. She also believed in every rapture scare, and my siblings and I spent our childhood prepping and doing drills. 

They ended up kicking my mom out, years after I liberated myself from them, because her husband cheated on her, and somehow it was her fault."

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9. "I was 7, my parents didn’t believe or take us to any church, or even talk about religion. However, while my dad was getting us moved to a new home, they made us stay with some family, and they had us go to theirs. They made me go to 'school' in the basement and introduced me to that religion. Basically, they read the 10 Commandments as if I were an idiot who didn’t know not to do obviously bad things; that was it. I knew they were up to something bad because they were trying to make me feel bad for not being one of them. Took five minutes to make me hate religion."

10. "When leadership told me to dump my boyfriend, because he questioned them. Turns out they deserved some questioning."

11. "When it came out that our pastor had been having an affair with one of the ladies in our church. He didn’t ask for forgiveness, and I now realize he was only sorry they got caught."

12. "My mother realized there was something wrong when our head minister publicly called her a whore, because she was one of the few women who WOULDN’T cheat on her husband with him 'in the name of Jesus.' She left, taking us (the kids). My father, the husband she refused to cheat on, stayed in the cult for a couple more years."

13. "When they told me I couldn’t leave. And if I did defy them and leave, I would be excommunicated."

14. "I watched a documentary about Jonestown, and a few TED Talks about cults, and I found a lot of similarities with my own religion. During quarantine, away from peer pressure and their exhausting preaching activities, I had time and space to learn more about my own religion, and I realized I was in a cult. My family is still in, they don't support my decision, but I don't care anymore. I'm glad that I'm out."

15. They told me I devoted too much of my time to studying instead of praying and attending gatherings called 'family time'. I even explained that I study because I want to contribute to alleviating poverty in my country one day. They confronted me. They said that studying is more important to me than God, that it would be better to save myself a seat in heaven, and that all I could do is pray for God to provide for the poor. I felt insulted because they were Americans, and it seemed like their privileged life blinded them from how humiliating it is to not be able to eat. I personally know how many generations have passed that have prayed for poverty in

16. "When I realized that forcing everyone to legally change their last name, not leave the building, not take pictures, and not say certain words was not normal, dude.

17. Lastly, "They kept changing the date for the end of the world...1880..1914..1929...1974...2000... sheeze, end it already..."

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People Are Sharing The Final Straw That Turned Them Off From Organized Religion Forever, And It's Extremely Thought-Provoking

Hannah Dobrogosz, BuzzFeed Staff  Posted on October 2, 2024, at 12:16 p.m. ET

1. "At my dad's funeral, the pastor told us that we'll never see our dad again if we don't get right with God and start going to church. That was the final straw."

2. "I wasn't raised in my mom's church, but I grew up following the religion and would attend on special holidays. The pastor at the time had shunned my entire family because my mom had me out of wedlock, but my family started going again when he left. Then I was diagnosed with cancer, and that pastor who had shunned my mom came to visit us in the hospital just to tell my mom this was God's punishment for her having premarital sex. He also told her not to worry because she'd see me in hell. We stopped going to church and following religion because what religion supports any of that? Evidently, that one."

3. "They asked me for a paystub to verify I was actually tithing 10%. The pastor was driving a new Cadillac."

"Kind of the same thing. My parents had a college fund for all the kids in one account. My sister drained the account when she dropped out and left home. I was a sophomore in high school, so my parents started saving money for my college everywhere they could, and so they stopped tithing. They still went to church every weekend. We got a letter from the church saying they noticed we had stopped coming to mass and asked if everything was okay. They didn't actually care that we were still going, just that we had stopped giving them money. Incidentally, the pastor was removed while he was part of an investigation for embezzlement."

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4. "I lived in an incredibly abusive family. My father was the physical abuser, and my mother was the emotional abuser. At the grand old age of 5 (at school), I learned that there was this 'magical being' who could create whole universes with the wave of a hand and who even loved losers like me. I became top of the Bible class, praying every night for the abuse to stop. After two years, I realized that nothing had changed. I decided there was no God, or he didn't like me if there was one. I started questioning this wonderful 'God' and found him lacking in so many areas. Then, I discovered dinosaurs, and that was the end of it."

5. "I grew up in the church and was constantly told all about the world ending, the anti-Christ, the rapture, and so on. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the half-baked interpretations and 'prophecies' of pastors. I'm tired of hearing that the US and its political landscape are biblical and somehow important in the 'end days.' I'm tired of the theatrical preachers and mega-churches and congregations claiming Democrats are evil. Nothing these churches have said would happen in the past 35 years has ever happened. They've been wrong for decades. It's all nonsense that simply isn't mentioned in the Bible."

"I used to go to church until a certain someone ran for president, and the hypocrisy of the church's support of him turned me off for good. I haven't been back since 2016. Now, they all pray for me because I've been 'led astray' while they go to church and talk about politics. Lol. It's all so ridiculous and hypocritical and aligns with NOTHING the Bible actually says. I'm done with the church."

6. "My first sign should have been when I was a young child. I was kicked out of the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine because when the teacher, who was a nun, slapped kids on the knuckles with her ruler, I blurted out, 'Jesus wouldn't do that.' I completely took away her power. Fast forward over 20 years, and I'm sitting in confusion, sharing that my now ex-husband shoved me into a wall while I was pregnant. The priest, I still remember his name, told me that I couldn't get a divorce and I had to forgive him because sometimes people make mistakes. Blah, blah, blah. I had a few choice words for him and never looked back. Farewell to the Catholic Church."

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7. "I left my church at 16; I'm now 37. It was a Southern Baptist church, and the hypocrisy is what drove me away. They judge women for not being virgins and refer to them as used-up pieces of chewing gum if they have sex before marriage. Also, they think drinking is as bad as murder. I worked at a bar in college, and some of those 'good, god-fearing people' were regulars. Also, guess who had sex before marriage? They did. I've also been interested in science and was told it wasn't ladylike. My parents still attend that church, and the new pastor is my age. They no longer preach the old-timer ways, but I won't go back."

8. "Stillborn babies, who were not baptized, were buried under the hedge near the cemetery because they could not be buried in the cemetery itself. Screw such a heartless religion."

9. "I grew up religious, and after nearly a decade of soul-searching, research, and eventually coming out, I've settled on being a person of faith but not religion. I've found a church that supports the LGBTQIA+ community and focuses on community service. Yesterday, I volunteered at a festival in my city that focused on love and belonging (put on by our city's Pride organization). I fully believe the Jesus I follow would've been there with me, handing out bracelets reminding people they belong and giving out 'mom hugs.' My 'religion' may disagree with me, but I've seen many people hurt by the church,

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10. "I went to church camp every year and was even a counselor. I somehow continued after being abused by my babysitter. It was after the continued abuse, sexual assault, and my mother abandoning me that I realized no one was really looking after me but myself. If there is a God who allows such harm to come to children, it's no god I want to believe in. Seeing horrible things happen to children changed it for me. Religious people say, 'It was the devil,' or 'God needed angels.' Really? Then why torture the child and make them suffer first? If God is almighty, why is he too weak to keep the devil from the things he supposedly made? Now, I see more hate with Christians and religion. There's more abuse. We're told to honor our mother and father. They expect us to have relationships with the people who ruined us. It's a mess."

"I believed with all my heart that by the time I was a teenager, I had seen and been through more than any human should. I stopped believing in a God. I believed in myself."

11. "I was raised Catholic. When I was 6, a nun told me that my mother would not go to heaven because she was Lutheran."

12. "My late husband was dying of leukemia, and his religious community made us pay for his 'sin' to save him, and it cost like $5,000 (back in 2011). Mind you, we were newlyweds with no money. Even the hospital bills were paid using donations from my friends, family, and neighbors. I was never religious before, but that was just disgusting. We paid it anyway because he believed in it."

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13. "When one of the ladies in my prayer group kept calling her gay nephew (one of my close friends in school) slurs within the group and asked us to keep him in our prayers to 'help him see that his lifestyle would damn him to hell.'"

14. "I saw a doctor when I turned 20 and had them prescribe me an EpiPen for a nut allergy after years of my entire religious community gaslighting me into thinking I wasn't allergic to anything and that allergies weren't real. This religion does not condone medical attention and only likes to 'pray' for any health problems. The doctor asked, 'How have you survived until now without one?' referring to the EpiPen. l was known to be an incredibly picky eater. It turns out I'm also allergic to poultry."

15. "Getting out in the community. The church I was raised in was one of those super strict ones that think women wearing pants is a huge issue. They would always preach about how gay people were sent here by Satan. I started working with a company that had offices worldwide. The people came from very diverse backgrounds, which was somewhat bewildering to my sheltered, redneck self. I got to know and become friends with not just one but tons of gay people. I just couldn't go to that church anymore. These nice gay folks were spending their days off volunteering at the local food banks and helping the unhoused community, and this church still thought they were bad people or 'demons.' I never saw anyone in that church do anything for the community."

16. "One of my first jobs was working for a Christian call center that took calls for The Jim Bakker Show. Seeing how that man manipulated people for money under the name of God pretty much did it for me. But he wasn't the only one. I took calls for other

17. "I grew up in the Baptist church. We attended services on Sundays and Wednesday evenings for a couple of years. My parents suddenly moved our family to the Assembly of God and became very active. I was pushed into the youth group. It was very cliquish. Being from the wrong side of the tracks, I just didn't fit in. It came to a bitter end for me when, on a church youth retreat during my senior year of high school, the youth pastor yelled, screamed, and cursed at me for hanging out with other youth I knew from previous years. I wound up calling home, spending the night at the bus station in the freezing cold (it was snowing), and going home alone. I have been back to church exactly twice since then: my wedding and my father's funeral. To this day, I can remember what the youth pastor screamed at me. He never apologized. He told my parents and the church pastor it was my fault. It left emotional and mental scars."

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18. "The idea that criminals of all types could go to heaven if they accepted Jesus Christ on their deathbed. I looked at the pastor and said, 'Well if that's the case, why would I put myself through all of this praying and kneeling and tithing BS if I can still get to heaven by accepting Jesus on my deathbed? I'm going to go out and enjoy life.'"

19. "It wasn't one big thing. Many things just built up until I got fed up and left. The worst thing was when they punished me for being a victim of SA. I was told to keep silent about it so I didn't ruin my dad's ministry (apparently, that was more important than his child). I was also told I deserved it because I 'chose' to be the guy's girlfriend, which meant I asked for it in their minds. I grew up Pentecostal. Courting and dating were for marriage, and even though I was taught to trust someone that I saw a future with, at the same time, I was blamed for trusting him. Make it make sense."

20. "The weirdo youth pastor went on a tirade about how your life is worthless if you're not converting people regularly (said to a bunch of 13-year-olds). My parents finally agreed that I didn't have to go to church anymore."

21. "My youth pastor got so angry when I told her I wasn't planning to attend the summer Evangelical program. She had supported me for nearly four years at that point. I had no friends or social life — nothing except for the church. We went for coffee once a week so I could have someone to talk to. We texted almost daily. Yet, when I decided against attending the summer program, she dropped me and hasn't spoken to me since. I was done with the entire church at that point."

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22. "When I was still in elementary school, my family attended the church. I came to them after an all-girls sleepover where my classmates were gossiping about what boys they found cute, and I realized I didn't find any of them cute. The boys in my class were my best friends, but I realized there was a girl in another class who I felt attracted to instead of my male best friends. I told my parents, and they accepted me, but when the church found out, they demanded that I be put into some sort of conversion therapy. That's when my parents decided we were leaving the church and the religion."

23. "A lot of things piled up over the years, but the big one was people always telling me all the abuse I'd been through, and all the bad things that happened to me were 'part of God's plan.' If one person did all this to me, they'd better be ready for a hell of a fight when I get to their house."

24. "My journey to atheism was, thankfully, not that drastic. I wasn't mad at god or the church. I, thankfully, didn't experience any kind of stigma by coming out or any family drama. My journey was more internal. I started off with the never-ending questions. After not getting many answers from my pastor, I found myself searching online and identified as agnostic for a year or two. The switch to atheism came without my noticing it. I realized that I probably was an atheist all through my journey, but I just didn't want to 'commit' due to the tradition of believing in a god. I know it's not a ground-breaking story, but it's my own."

25. "There was no 'final' straw; it was just a slow realization that came during an absence caused by the death of my most religious family member, who was the heart of our Sunday services attendance. Also, I started saying,' Yeah, that makes sense,' to things different from what the Bible or its local representatives taught. I suppose the final completion point came when some local churches were caught protecting their pedophiles. But by then, that was the final nail in an already-buried coffin."

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26. "It was the people for sure — very judgmental and cliquey. I'd always kind of hated it, but I tried to stick it out for my grandparents, thinking that was what I needed to do to be a good person. One summer, I went on a mission trip to Hungary with my youth group, and the entire youth group excluded me throughout the trip. The group leaders were very much in on the exclusion and even seemed to encourage it. When we returned, I decided I was done and never returned."

27. "My 'uncle' is the deacon of the church, and he and his wife never filed my nana's will and claimed there was none. They stole our inheritance, knowing that my family is conflict-phobic. It broke my mom's heart and makes me sick to know that there are people who think he's an amazing and pious person."

28. And: "I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade. Even when I switched to public school for high school, I remained active in my church and parish youth group. While I can't put my finger on one specific moment that immediately distanced me from the church, many little things happened around this time that made me question the environment I grew up in and the things I was taught. There was a time I volunteered with church members at a Christmas gift drive in an impoverished neighborhood of our city. Afterward, many of them kept making snarky comments about how many of the attendees had shown up to get free gifts despite having smartphones. The ensuing conversation about members of that local community looking for 'handouts' didn't sit right with 15-year-old me."

29. "My late husband was dying of leukemia, and his religious community made us pay for his 'sin' to save him, and it cost like $5,000."

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30. "There was a time one of my favorite celebrities was outed as gay when photos of him and his boyfriend were leaked. It was my first exposure to the LGBTQIA+ community, and though I knew nothing about queer identities at the time, it was immediately clear to me from seeing the photos just how much they loved each other. Meanwhile, some people in my church community reacted with disappointment and hatred and vowed to boycott his work. Again, this didn't sit right with me. Weren't we supposed to love and respect others?

31. There was a time during my senior year when we were assigned a topic randomly (I think by picking out a hat), and we had to research and debate the side that didn't align with our views. Mine was abortion, which meant I had to present the pro-abortion rights argument. Sometime after the assignment wrapped up, I was speaking to my teacher after class about something unrelated. He mentioned in passing how well I had done on the debate and that he knew it had to be difficult for me to argue in favor of a side that went against my religious beliefs (I was pretty 'openly Catholic' despite being at a public school). It was a moment that figuratively stopped me in my tracks as I realized that the anti-abortion argument the church pushed on me didn't align with how I felt personally. I 'believed' it simply because that's what I'd been taught. The pro-abortion rights side I'd researched for the assignment resonated with me so much more.

32. I had little moments like these for years, and while no 'straw broke the camel's back,' suddenly when I was in my early 20s, it became abundantly clear that I didn't identify with the Catholic tradition at all anymore. So much of what I learned through organized religion, especially in my teen years, was filled with hypocrisy and guilt. Don't even get me started on the many ways I'm still unlearning how I was made to feel shame around my body and sexuality as a girl, and I'm in my 30s now. I haven't set foot in a church in years other than for weddings and funerals, and I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders."

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32. "Kind of the same thing. My parents had a college fund for all the kids in one account. My sister drained the account when she dropped out and left home. I was a sophomore in high school, so my parents started saving money for my college everywhere they could, and so they stopped tithing. They still went to church every weekend. We got a letter from the church saying they noticed we had stopped coming to mass and asked if everything was okay. They didn't actually care that we were still going, just that we had stopped giving them money. Incidentally, the pastor was removed while he was part of an investigation for embezzlement."

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The words of Pastor John Stephen Brown of Eternal Grace Baptist Church speaking on the shooting massacre at the Wedgewood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas. 

As a blood bought, born again, baptized believer indwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, I am reminded of God's Word in the wake of recent events.

Bible believers are taught by the Word of God to arm themselves and be trained in the use of those weapons. While being properly trained in our weapon of choice, the Holy Bible, we are duty bound to be trained in other weapons of warfare.

We understand many are not properly trained in the use of both spiritual and carnal weapons land only when so trained can someone be a good steward over the manifold blessings of God.

It is the duty of Pastors, Deacons and Men (no women need apply) of the Church to provide protection in the above manner.

I am encouraging all who have repented of their sins and named the name of Christ to deny them-selves, and daily bath [sic] their minds in the Word of God. Moreover, I am counseling those believers to properly arm themselves (with firearms) and get appropriate training where necessary. Had the people in Fort Worth, Texas, faithfully been obeying our LORD's Word, the death toll would have been much less.

May Christ our Lord be glorified through our thoughts and actions!!!  

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